A day that blew my mind and touched my heart.

Well, let’s begin with something I've kept on repeating since my birthday. “Earlier I didn't want to talk about my birthday, and now, I can’t seem to stop talking about it.” I've got a lot to say, so hear me rant. :P

So, my birthday started with, 5 idiots who, I call my best friends. They being my best friends were late and locked me up in my room so that they could decorate the living room. Some friends, I tell you. But, I wouldn't exchange them for the world. Those of you, who called me at 12, had to hear constant okay-bye’s, and you ask me who is to blame? After cutting the cake in front of family and friends, we called it a night. Oh, okay, we didn't. They made me burst 18 balloons, don’t ask me how, which had 18 different coupons for different occasions and made me read them out loud, out of which the most embarrassing one was uploaded on instagram, cue non-stop laughter. We ended up clicking web-cam photos for as long as our faces ached from making so many faces. :P Then we watched a horror movie, MIRRORS. By the time we realized, it was 6 a.m. and according to them they had to leave and were not free the whole day. Can you believe them? -.- Then I left to get Blu, a gift that has managed to find its way into my adoration, from the very first time I saw it. Thank you, mom and dad. So, for me that was it, I thought everything was done. But, BOOM. I was asked to accompany mom and dad to our office, but unfortunately, I was early, again to ruin yet another surprise, I entered the office and saw my favorite people, all together, at one place, blowing balloons. :P I had to act as if, I did not see anything and well, wait. Fun?; But, what counters the feeling of seeing everyone, all the people who've grown on you, all together cheering for you, chanting happy birthday wearing caps and masquerade-masks. I was honestly overwhelmed. Thank you, for making my day so memorable and celebrating my special day with me. 

Well, as I always say, it’s not the place or things you do that matters, but it’s the people who you are surrounded with is what matters. Thank you, for making me feel so loved, blessed, ecstatic and overwhelmed. Thank you for giving me a day, I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. There are friends and then there are best friends who become a part of your family, I’m lucky to have such an extended family. Best friends are hard to find, ‘cause the best one’s are already mine.  As they say, don’t count the number of days you breathe, count the number of days that took your breath away. 30th November, 2013, was most definitely, one those days that blew my mind and touched my heart.  

Unparallel Love.

Even when days, months and years will pass, 

even if we are staying apart, 
when I need someone by my side, 
and close my eyes, I see your face, 
dear mother.

I fight with you, I frustrate you,

I make you want to pull out your hair, 
but you never complained.
Even if I devote my life to your selfless love, 
it seems too small to be compared.

You're a candle,
that brightens up my life, 
which itself burns,
to give me light,
so that I can reach great heights.

I love you so much, that I wonder,
whether I'll be able to express it right,
this is but a small attempt,
to make you realize,
what you mean to me,

That is, nothing but my life.

I wrote this poem in the 8th grade for my mother's birthday. I firmly believe that there's no love in the world that can parallel to a mother's love for her child.

VOID

Inspired by Oprah's interview with Lindsay Lohan.

Devoid of all the emotions,
is a world of my own.
Where chaos is comfortable,
and silence is bliss.

Where possessions mean nothing,
and formalities seem foreign.
Where emptiness feels like home,
And numbness is a drug, people crave.

There's a dull ache that keeps on lingering,
it's detachment taking its toll, I guess.
Aimless. Directionless. I wander around,
To find a place and stand my ground.
There's a void inside that eats me up, I can tell.

Heartless, they call me,
But, do I care? 
Failed attempts and regrets consume me,
It's like a maze with a missing outlet,
Yet, they are the one's with a story to tell.

TRUST ISSUES?

74% people of the 21st century are suffering from a disease which unfortunately has no cure. The disease being none other than the infamous PISTANTHROPHOBIA the fear of trusting people; Its origin is usually in the root levels of childhood; may be due to physical or mental abuse or maybe due to wasting their time on the wrong people who kept on breaking their trust. 

People seem to take this very casually but what they don't know is that even if you're a borderline pistanthropist, you have high chances of committing suicides or fall into the traps of depression or loneliness.

 This category of people are often misunderstood, primarily because they end up pushing people away. Their walls are built so high, that, it's difficult for people to deal with them. They are difficult people, and do not often let people in. Even when they do, they are always cautious, always watching out for signs that might prove their suspicions to be true. They suffer from constant paranoia. These people usually have abandonment issues, if you're friends with people who are suffering from the same, the last thing you should do is leave them alone. The only remedy for this issue, is, therapy. If they're surrounded by people, who, recognize their insecurities, and help them deal with it. It can get better.

The thing about these species is that they have layers. You feel as if, you know everything about them, when in reality, you know only as much as you're supposed to know. If you're the one who's suffering from pistanthrophobia, tell yourself that yes, there are people out there who'll break your trust, but that isn't a reason enough to constantly push people away. Eventually, people will give up, in spite of loving and caring about you, they will give up, 'cause by doubting them, by not opening up to them, you're only causing them pain. It's okay to have a small circle of friends, whom you can trust. Have a little faith. Don't judge everyone's motives. There are people out there, who are just trying to look out for you. The world we live isn't exactly all sunshine and rainbows, but, it isn't that bad either. Life is too short, stop thinking or rather over thinking about situations. Let loose, live a little, trust wisely, don't bottle up your feelings, and give people a chance to prove their love for you. Accept their love, care and concern, 'cause if there's anyone out there who deserves it, it's you. You are special, you are loved, there are people out there, you can trust. It might be a little difficult, in the beginning, but in the end, it'll be worth it. Smile and laugh, dance to random songs, sing, even if you sound like a dying whale. You've holed up yourself for very long.

It's time, time to get over your worst fears. Having said this, it does not mean that, you start trusting every tom, dick, and harry you meet. Live the way you like, and love the way you live. I'm not promising you, that everyone will live up to your expectations. But, for those few who will, people who won't give up on you, who'll care about you for the rest of your life, it's a risk worth taking. 'Cause at the end of the day; what is life, without risks? Take a leap of faith. Believe. You're the creator of your own destiny. You can either choose to be miserable, or choose to be happy. Everyone has trust issues, but does it imply that you completely stop having faith in people? No. If everyone starts thinking along those lines, social life would cease to exist. Agreed, that every time you think about trusting someone, your past seems to haunt you. But, then again, it just means you need to be careful and not just stop, just remove your emotional ties with people, and behave as if, you're some robot. Its okay to get hurt at times, its okay if people break your trust, its okay if you make mistakes, and you’re only a human. Whatever has happened, or is going to happen, happens for good. There is some ulterior motive, why things work out the way they do. Years from now, you'll be able to join the dots. But, for now, don't give up on people. Trust them. Let people heal your inner scars. Let people try and fix you.  

 

Life, as I see it.

They ask me, “What do you know about life, you’re just 17.”

  What they tend to forget is, age does not imply experience. I’m 17, but what the hell, I've seen life play its dirty tricks on people, I've seen fate mocking  people. I've seen how drastically people change, once they've got their motives satisfied. I've seen trouble, sorrow, pain, happiness, and all forms of emotions possible on planet feelings. I've met people from all walks of life, been with them, and dealt with them. I've been completely miserable and extremely ecstatic; so, here's my take on life.

   Life isn't a fairy tale and is never going to be, it’s mere survival. People will enter and leave your life, problems and controversies will always be hot on your heels, things will change, priorities will change, people will change, but, change is good, and you will change too. 

 Life will never be steady, it'll have it's fair share of ups and downs, it's upon us how we deal with those situations.There will be days when there'll be nothing that'll bring you down, those days when you're spirits are on a constant high, those days when you feel loved and cared for, when nothing seems to go wrong, everything is perfect, just the way you visioned it, and then, there will be times in life when, you won’t know where your life is heading, you’ll be confused and stuck and there’ll be nothing that’ll provide comfort, and you’ll feel cold and helpless, you’ll feel broken and nothing will seem to mend you, but, only you can pick the broken pieces up. In some parallel universe help would be on its way, but here, in reality, you’ll be on your own. As they say the bad thing about good days is, they get over,the good thing about bad days is that, they get over too.

 The way I see it, we dress up impeccably, wear branded sun-glasses, watches, go and do stuff we completely hate in order to impress people who don’t give two flying fucks about us and would kill to see our downfall and much to everyone’s surprise, we aren't their biggest fans either. People are funny, our society is full of idiotic morons who have all the time in the world to play golf, watch opera’s but, in fact are too busy to sit down for a bit and have a cup of coffee with their loved ones and just chill, you know. We’re so busy looking at the bigger picture in life, that, we tend to forget the most elementary things that once upon a time, held a lot of importance in our life. That somewhere represented us. In the process of trying to get ahead in the race, we get rid of things that gave us immense happiness.

  We’re not perfect, far from being so, so why can’t we accept the people just the way they are, why do we have this urge to turn them into someone, we wouldn't be embarrassed of just in case they decide to tag along. Words have power, actions do too, what may seem immaterial to us, might just mean the world to someone else, we should choose either wisely, because our every word, every action has in one way or another affected other’s lives, intentionally or unintentionally. We’re used to being so self-absorbed, that we don’t pay attention to what we say, don’t own up to our responsibilities and let's not get started on how often do we even think about making amends.

      
  From where I see it, life makes more sense to an 8 year old who has dreams and aspirations than a 50 year old who has, by all means forgotten his role. We’re humans, we make mistakes, and we hurt and get hurt. We build up walls instead of bridges, and there’s a lot that can make us cave in. Life is a hilarious bundle; just imagine watching your life as a movie, not so confident about your decisions anymore, are you? But, the fact is, that, despite everything, despite every rock, every obstacle you lived, you made mistakes, but you learned. That’s what life is all about, living, making mistakes, learning from them and moving on with newly acquired courage and knowledge. We don’t get to start our life all over again, so think before you do. 

As cynical and overrated as it sounds, we enter and leave this world alone, and in-between, we just create a picture-perfect illusion, in order to feel good about ourselves. But, as they say, enjoy while the ride lasts. LEARN. LAUGH. LOVE. LIVE.

A Beautiful Lie.

I smile, I laugh
But, there's a hidden past,
Deep down within,
A scar so deep,
But, I smile to please.

It's a beautiful lie I live, 
two worlds, two personalities, 
one fake and another real, but hard to explain.
"I'm tired" I say, when people ask me what's wrong? 
But, can they tell?
They wouldn't understand. It's complicated. 
I tell myself.
But, to be honest, I'm just scared, 
to put my guards down and to be let down.

People think I'm all sunshine and rainbows,
But, they don't know, it's an act put up well.
Although I'm surrounded with people, I feel alone,
Dark and gloomy clouds surrounding me,
In search of a ray of hope,
I move ahead.
It's a beautiful lie I live, 
two worlds, two personalities, 
one fake and another real, but hard to explain.

The perfect guy.

A hypothetical concept from some romantic cheesy novel that has managed to ruin every girl's relationship.

 As cynical as it sounds, one can never find the PERFECT guy, you just find a guy who is imperfectly perfect and fall in love for reasons unknown. 

 Don't keep looking for a perfect guy. The guy of your life will meet you when you least expect it. Someday, somewhere at the right place, at the right time, you'll find him, the-not-so-perfect-but-yet-so-lovable kind of a guy.

 The guy who'll treat you the way you should be treated, who'll never let you deal with problems alone, who may not always say the right things; but things just seem to be right when you're with him, he may not know how to dance or play a guitar; but he'll know how to pull the strings of your heart and how to make your heartbeats dance, he'll call you beautiful even when you're in your pajamas, He'll sing for you, even if he sounds like a dying whale, he'll keep his word, his promises. He'll be your rock. He may screw up once in a while, but that just proves that he's not a fictitious character, and is for real.

 He'll be that one person who'll fall in love with things that you hate about yourself. He'll not be able to solve all your problems, but he'll be there to hear you rant about stuff, he'll listen, he'll care. He'll know those little-things about you, that no one else notices. He'll look at you with a twinkle in his eyes, he'll look at you with, nothing, but pure adoration. He will never judge you. He will change your life for the better, make you a better version of yourself. He'll give you the love you deserve. He'll break your walls that you've built really high, and come and get you. He'll earn and deserve your love and respect.

 He may not be the rich, but he'll have a heart of gold, he'll show you the world through his eyes and make you realize that you're the most beautiful person, there is out there. He'll be there to catch you when you break down. He'll know your weaknesses, but never take undue advantage of the fact. He'll respect you like he respects his parents, he'll treat your family and close friends as his own, he'll stand up for you, he'll be the first one to protect you, take care of you, understand you and most of all love "THE REAL YOU" and be proud of you!

Things will get messed up at times, but the good will always outnumber the bad. Somewhere in your gut, you'll know  he's your imperfect knight in shining armor. He's the love of your life. 

 Don't compare what you have with what others have. Every story looks beautiful until you've stepped into the protagonist's shoes. What you have is, your own love story and despite its ups and downs, it's beautiful, surreal maybe. Save it, treasure it, for everyone does not get this chance. Don't squander what you have over things that hardly matter.There's no "PERFECT" or "IDEAL" guy. In true sense, everyone has flaws and no one is perfect, you may find some xyz guy to be perfect, not because he actually is, but because unknowingly you've fallen for his imperfections!

 So, don’t worry about him not being perfect, don't worry about your friends not liking him, he loves you and that is a reason enough to be with him. Being with the-not-so-ideal-but-so-perfect kind of guy for you.

 Don't jump into a relationship, only because you want to be in a relationship, think it over. Your heart is not a toy to be played with, give it over to the someone who deserves it. Don't step into one, until you're absolutely sure and you're mentally ready to share your space with someone. You are responsible for your actions, so evaluate everything. No matter how long your relationship will last, it'll change you, change you're perspective about things, about people, it'll change a hell lot and no matter how hard you try, things won't go back to the way they were before.

 It's a lot more different than disney movies and love stories you watch and read. If you're ready for the real thing, then go for it. 

 P.S It's not only about how a guy treats his girl, it's also about how the girl reciprocates.


 Keep smiling! :D

SMILES, ARE THEY EVEN REAL?

How happy a person is, is usually judged by how often a person smiles. This holds good for the majority, but there is a certain minority that uses this "WAY OF JUDGEMENT" to hide their pain.

 It's a proven fact that people who laugh; smile a bit it too much are the people who are trying to make others believe that they are happy, but in reality, these are the people who need someone to be there for them.

 As they say there's more to the world than what meets the eye; in a similar fashion there's more to smiling faces. People who seem the most jovial, people who generally are never expected to be under depression are the people fighting a hidden battle with their problems. 

 Smiles do not determine how happy a person actually is; they display fake happiness, a cover up, a mask to hide one's weakness, to hide one's pain, to not be vulnerable in front of others. This, is the harsh reality, the hidden truth. Next time you meet someone who laughs a lot, look into their eyes and ask, what’s bothering you?